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Review of Disney's A Wrinkle in Time

Last night my brother and I watched A Wrinkle in Time and I was really excited about it for some reason. Did it hold up to the source material? Well, I read the book ages ago, didn't really like it, and only remember a few key plot points—the missing dad, three weird ladies, the creepy identical houses, and Charles Wallace getting possessed, and ending up with purple circles for eyes...and all of that happened in the movie. Except the purple circles. So as far as I know, it was a faithful adaptation, but I'm not the one to ask. This review is about the movie itself, not as an adaptation.

In the first couple of minutes, we're introduced to an insecure, brooding Meg played by Storm Reid, her adopted brother Charles Wallace (I don't remember if he was adopted in the book or not), and Meg's new friend Calvin, who doesn't do much of anything except follow Meg around. Then we meet the three ladies, one at a time. Oprah is like twenty feet tall for some reason, and …
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Review of Welcome to Ludicrous

Review of Welcome to Ludicrous by Virginia Henderson 

On page 37, the fussy and cynical Priscilla Pinwick describes the town of Ludicrous as a "train wreck." This could not be more succinct. I hate to use my unpublished story as an example here, but Ludicrous is a town that makes Glennerdells look normal. And yes, I just said that about a town called Glennerdells.

In fact, it was so crazy that for the first few chapters I had a hard time getting into it. But now that I'm done with my journey into Ludicrous and back again, I present the official review, the good and the bad.

The bad:
--It's a bit unpolished. Commas where there shouldn't be, incorrect grammar like "had went." Sometimes the wrong word was used, such as multiple times the word "corporate" was used instead of cooperate. Nothing major that muddled the meaning, however.

The good:
--Priscilla Pinwick's name. A+
--Food descriptions. Just for the record, food descriptions will alwa…

Review of The Princess and the Goblin

When I started out reading a beat-up library copy of 1872's The Princess and the Goblin, I had no idea it would end up being exactly the book I needed at the moment. In fact, for the first two chapters, it struck a serious nerve. There was no goblin in sight, and the princess was giving me a migraine. Sure, maybe Irene kicks off the adventure by exploring, but as soon as she gets lost or runs into trouble she flings herself to the ground crying until she is rescued. Do you have any idea how tiring this gets? I don't care that she's only eight. I happen to know a very plucky eight-year-old. Just seriously....STOP THE CRYING.

The entire book got on my nerves for several chapters, come to think of it. Why? This takes place in a village where no one can go out at night. Also, there's a creepily mysterious lady spinning yarn in a tower. This is all good stuff. Good stuff indeed. So why was I driven nuts?

Well, enter Curdie, bringing utter relief simply by being a character…

Review of The Christmas Train

Last night I finally realized why I dislike Hallmark movies. It's because I've seen commercials with more artistic merit than a two-hour Hallmark film. No seriously, I have. Watch this one. Really, watch it. This is a commercial. 

Or this one. This will do something to your stone-cold heart. 

Or for that matter, the commercials they show during each Olympics. They tell a whole story in such a short amount of time. 

But nevertheless, I am nothing if not open-minded. There is a handful of Hallmark movies I have genuinely enjoyed. So last night, I sat down to watch The Christmas Train, wondering if this would be added to the prestigious handful. 
We start off with a generic white male, our main character. A moment later we see a generic white female. The two are not together yet, but it is already obvious to the viewers (in this case, me) that they will be married before the credits roll. This ain't my first Hallmark rodeo. Anyway, Main Guy is a journalist and wants to write …

Thanksgiving Special: Childhood Horror

Digging Old Stories Out of the Vault: 1st Edition Greetings everyone and Happy Thanksgiving! For a long time I've wanted to have some fun at my own expense by writing an entire post making fun of an old story of mine, and I've finally decided there's no time like the present. Ready your brain because I feel sorry for what it's about to endure.
First of all, there needs to be a tiny bit of explanation. When I was little I had a fantasy world consisting of four major regions. The capital of this weird world was Car City, which was modern and vastly wealthy and full of technology (mid-2000's technology, that is). Car City was ruled by the snobby nobility of the Leida Estate, who also dominated the world's currency system and owned money-printing machines. Then there was Roseland, which I described as an "in between" place. The lifestyle there was roughly like the 1940s or 50s. The main adventures in Roseland came from an evil orphanage worker who kidnapp…

The Five Actual Rules of Writing a Female Character

Today I’m discussing a phrase you see absolutely everywhere in the world of reading and writing: “strong female character.” When it really boils down to it, what the heck does that even mean? I’ve never in my life heard the phrase “strong male character.” So why is crafting a woman so different from crafting a man? Well, countless people have attempted to interpret this debacle. You know what I’m talking about it. Particularly in the movie world, we ended up with a slew black-haired, gun slinging females wearing tight leather clothing--even in Big Hero 6, for crying out loud. Or, on a much, much larger scale, all those countless female characters who throw out sassy one-liners, possess enviable fighting skills, and punch men in the face. Those three traits alone are supposed to qualify them as “strong.” Like, “Oh, look, we can beat up a man! Who needs men?” Okay, but tell me something else about them. That’s just the thing—there is nothing else about these characters. They exist to f…

Review of Wonder (book)

In light of the upcoming movie, today I’m presenting my thoughts on the novel Wonder. I’ve read it twice, but it’s been awhile, so these are my thoughts very long after reading. The author of this book is a graphic designer from Manhattan with two sons. She had never written a book in her life, but her sons had an encounter with a little girl with major physical problems and she couldn’t get it out of her head. She wondered what it would be like to be that little girl and never be viewed as “normal,” even when you feel normal. And Wonder was born. Instead of me telling you why this is truly one of the few real “books for all ages,” or telling you why every kid should read Wonder, or telling you about any of the other claims I have centered around this book, I’m going to follow the first rule of writing and show you.
We start with this 10-year-old boy named August, or Auggie, explaining to us why he’s a perfectly normal kid. He likes to eat ice cream, he likes to play outside, etc. H…